![]() ![]() In pushing to always feel secure in the world, we end up insecure. When we “force” ourselves to be happy, we end up being more miserable. Paradoxically, when we begin to accept everything, both the good and the bad, we begin to feel less anxious. When we try to pretend that we can actually cure anxiety-especially by focusing on controlling it-we might actually delude ourselves and end up exacerbating our anxiety. These strategies are helpful, to a point, but they might ultimately distract one from the real issue at hand: Anxiety itself is probably not going anywhere. ![]() Much of the advice around working with anxiety focuses on managing stressors and practicing calming techniques. After all, we’ve been wired to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. When we detach from our experiences and take a wider view, we give ourselves enough space to see that we are indeed separate from them.ĭuring times of stress, worry, and overwhelm it can be challenging to employ this strategy of non-attachment. This isn’t to say that we aren’t to have hopes or dreams or goals, but that we are not defined by the results of our pursuits. It’s about being flexible rather than fixed, with no expectation of specific outcomes. Non-attachment, from a Buddhist point of view, refers to engaging with our experiences with fluidity. ![]() Buddhists refer to this very human dilemma as grasping or attachment and advocate for the opposite, a life of non-attachment. Watts’ notion, recorded over 70 years ago, still holds true today, describing something we’ve all experienced at some point in our lives: the more we force something, the more we receive the opposite of what we actually want. Sometimes I call it the ‘backwards law.’ When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink but when you try to sink, you float. “I have always been fascinated,” wrote the 20th-century philosopher Alan Watts, “by the law of reversed effort. Here, he outlines three main strategies for moving through anxiety. When we try to control our anxious feelings instead of accepting them, we might end up exacerbating fear and worry. Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)Īnxiety is a natural response to being human, says Lion’s Roar’s Chris Pacheco.Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window).Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window).Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). ![]()
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